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Land of Lincoln,…»
(Already he refers to Lincoln, a highly respected former President famous for the Gettysburg Address)
let me express my deepest gratitude for the privilege of addressing this convention.
Tonight is a particular honor for me because, let’s face it, my presence on this stage
is pretty unlikely. My father was a foreign student, born and raised in a small village in Kenya. He grew up herding goats, went to school in a tin-roof shack. His father -- my grandfather -- was a cook, a domestic servant to the British.
(He has set a vivid picture of his father’s childhood – a basic existence)
But
my grandfather had larger dreams
for
his son.
Through
hard work and perseverance
my
father got a scholarship to study in a magical place,
America,
that
shone as a beacon of freedom and opportunity
to
so many who had come before.
(Note
the use of contrast – the contrast of the basic Kenyan life and the
life in America. Also note the use of a metaphor of a beacon, playing
to the audience’s conceptions of America being a shining light to
the rest of the world and the imagery of the Statue of Liberty)
While
studying here, my father met my mother. She was born in a town on the
other side of the world, in Kansas.
(Again
a contrast, and sets the scene for the American side of the
family)
Her
father worked on oil rigs and farms through most of the Depression.
The day after Pearl Harbor my grandfather signed up for duty; joined
Patton’s army, marched across Europe.
(A
reference to the shared experience of the American people)
Back
home, my grandmother raised a baby and went to work on a bomber
assembly line.
(More
use of contrast)
After
the war, they studied on the G.I. Bill, bought a house through
F.H.A., and later moved west all the way to Hawaii in search of
opportunity.
(Note
the further use of the shared/All-American history, setting the scene
to portray himself as part of the “American Dream” and casting
out any doubt about his heritage – well, other than the need for a
birth certificate!)
And
they, too, had big dreams for their daughter. A common dream, born of
two continents.
(A
nice conclusion to this section of contrasts by stating common
elements – something which reflects Obama’s subsequent style of
being conciliatory)
My
parents shared not only an improbable love, they shared an abiding
faith
in the possibilities of this nation. They would give me an
African name, Barack, or ”blessed,” believing that in a tolerant
America your name is no barrier to success.
(Obama
has laid down a marker here – if you criticise his name you are
intolerant/anti-American. He pauses for a longer period here to allow
the message to sink in to the audience)
They
imagined me going to the best schools in the land, even though they
weren’t rich, because in a generous America you don’t have to be
rich to achieve your potential.
(Note
again a contrast with a negative beginning and a positive end. This
is far more effective in obtaining the approval of the public and
getting applause than if he had said something like “Because they
knew you don’t have to be rich to achieve your potential, they
imagined me going to the best schools even though they weren’t
rich” – you’ll note that there was a long pause to allow for
the message to sink in – and the message was not that he was from a
poor background, but that America is a place of
opportunity.)
They're
both passed away now. And yet, I know that on this night they look
down on me with great pride. They stand here -- And I stand here
today, grateful for the diversity of my heritage, aware that my
parents’ dreams live on in my two precious daughters. I stand here
knowing that my story is part of the larger American story, that I
owe a debt to all of those who came before me, and that, in no other
country on earth, is my story even possible.
(Another
reference to the larger American story – effectively foreshadowing
that his own trajectory and bigger “story arc” would propel him
to the White House)
Tonight,
(A
simple word which serves to focus on the individual moment)
we
gather to affirm the greatness of our Nation- not because of the
height of our skyscrapers, or the power of our military, or the size
of our economy.
(The
comment sets up a contrast and also creates a question-answer
conundrum that keeps the audience interested to hear the revelation
of the greatness of their Nation)
Our
pride is based on a very simple premise, summed up in a declaration
made over two hundred years ago: We hold these truths to be
self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed
by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these
are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
That is the true
genius of America,
(Words
of Jefferson from the Declaration of Independence)
a
faith -- a faith in simple dreams, an insistence on small miracles;
that we can tuck in our children at night and know that they are fed
and clothed and safe from harm;
that we can say what we think,
write what we think, without hearing a sudden knock on the door; that
we can have an idea and start our own business without paying a
bribe; that we can participate in the political process without fear
of retribution, and that our votes will be counted – at least most
of the time.
(Note
the repetition of the formulation “that…”. Also note the
humurous reference to the 2000 elections and the electoral votes from
Florida)
This
year, in this election
(The
language stresses the urgency of the situation)
we
are called to reaffirm our values and our commitments, to hold them
against a hard reality and see how we're measuring up to the legacy
of our forbearers and the promise of future generations.
(This
ties in the historical and constitutional references)
And
fellow Americans, Democrats, Republicans, Independents, I say to you
tonight:
We have more work to do --
(the
term “more work” becomes a recurring phrase through the following
section of the speech. The choice of the words “more work” is
less confrontational than a frontal attack on the record of the
Republicans but has the same effect. It allows him to attack their
record without attacking them personally)
more
work to do for the workers I met in Galesburg, Illinois, who are
losing their union jobs at the Maytag plant that’s moving to
Mexico, and now are having to compete with their own children for
jobs that pay seven bucks an hour;
(He
uses the form "situation; crisis" throughout this section
of the speech)
more
to do for the father that I met who was losing his job and choking
back the tears, wondering how he would pay 4500 dollars a month for
the drugs his son needs
without the health benefits that he
counted on; more to do for the young woman in East St. Louis, and
thousands more like her, who has the grades, has the drive,
has
the will, but doesn’t have the money to go to college.
(Again
use of situation; crisis. This is combined with a three part list,
where he lists the grades, drive and will and repetition of “has
the”)
Now,
don’t get me wrong. The people I meet in small towns and big
cities, in diners
and office parks they don’t expect
government to solve all their problems.
They know they have to
work hard to get ahead, and they want to.
(He
is heading off the criticism that could be levelled at those that
seek “protectionist” or social welfare measures – that those
that seek them are asking for the state to solve all their ills. If
you address the opposition not only do you come across as even-handed
as you appear to have considered the other side’s arguments (which
makes your arguments more credible), you also get the opportunity to
frame the opposition’s arguments)
Go
into the collar counties around Chicago, and people will tell you
they don’t want their tax money wasted, by a welfare agency or by
the Pentagon.
Go
into any inner city neighbourhood, and folks will tell you that
government alone can’t teach our kids to learn; they know that
parents have to teach, that children can’t achieve unless we raise
their expectations and turn off the television sets and eradicate the
slander that says a black youth with a book is acting white. They
know those things.
People
don't expect government to solve all their problems.
(He
builds up the tempo and uses another 3 part list. Note that the
grammar is incorrect in using “and” on both occasions – this
isn’t important in a speech and shows just one difference between
written and spoken language). Note that after the second cheer he
restates the point and leaves another large pause for the message to
sink in)
But
they sense, deep in their bones, that with just a slight change in
priorities, we can make sure that every child in America has a decent
shot at life, and that the doors of opportunity remain open to all.
They know we can do better. And they want that choice. In this
election,
(Again
note the call to an urgent situation)
we
offer that choice. Our Party has chosen a man to lead us
who
embodies the best this country has to offer. And that man is John
Kerry.
John Kerry
understands the ideals of community, faith, and service
(Yet
another 3-part list)
because
they’ve defined his life. From his heroic service to Vietnam, to
his years as a prosecutor and lieutenant governor, through two
decades in the United States Senate, he's devoted himself to this
country.
(Another
3 part list)
Again
and again, we’ve seen him make tough choices when easier ones were
available.
(Use
of contrasts)
His
values and his record affirm what is best in us.
(The
coming section has a number of parts that all begin “John Kerry
believes..”. Not only does this repetition strengthen the speech,
but it also helps structure the most important policies for reception
by the audience. You will note that what is at the end of each policy
area is the phrase that they want you to focus on. The policy is
listed after the existing situation only if they have an ACTUAL
policy. Where they do not, they focus on describing the risk of the
existing policy in vivid language).
John
Kerry believes in an America where hard work is rewarded; so instead
of offering tax breaks to companies shipping jobs overseas, he offers
them to companies creating jobs here at home. John Kerry believes in
an America where all Americans
can afford the same health
coverage our politicians in Washington have for themselves. John
Kerry believes in energy independence, so we aren’t held hostage to
the profits of oil companies, or the sabotage of foreign oil fields.
John Kerry believes in the Constitutional freedoms that have made our
country the envy of the world,
and he will never sacrifice our
basic liberties, nor use faith as a wedge to divide us.
And John
Kerry believes that in a dangerous world war must be an option
sometimes, but it should never be the first option.
You know, a
while back -- awhile back I met a young man named Shamus
in a
V.F.W. Hall in East Moline, Illinois.
(Obama
loves the use of small anecdotes. They are a good way of creating a
bond to the overall message and are a good way of changing pace in
the speech).
He
was a good-looking kid -- six two, six three, clear eyed, with an
easy smile.
He told me he’d joined the Marines and was heading
to Iraq the following week.
(Note
that he does not give too much detail – just enough to paint a
general mental picture. If you give too much detail then it ruins the
effect. He wants it to be YOUR depiction of Shamus. Think about how
disappointed you are sometimes by the casting of a film version of a
favourite book – the actor is not how YOU imagined the character to
be, and the magic is ruined).
And
as I listened to him explain why he’d enlisted, the absolute faith
he had in our country and its leaders, his devotion to duty and
service, I thought this young man was all that any of us might ever
hope for in a child. But then I asked myself,
"Are we
serving Shamus as well as he is serving us?"
(The
use of a rhetorical question to get the audience thinking.
Importantly, a closed – and loaded – question. He leaves enough
of a gap to allow people to process the question.)
I
thought of the 900 men and women -- sons and daughters, husbands and
wives,
friends and neighbours, who won’t be returning to their
own hometowns.
(He
invites us to remember that the number is made up of people around
us, and notice that he bunches them into a three-part list of
pairs.)
I
thought of the families I’ve met who were struggling to get by
without a loved one’s full income, or whose loved ones had returned
with a limb missing or nerves shattered, but still lacked long-term
health benefits because they were Reservists. When we send our young
men and women into harm’s way, we have a solemn obligation not to
fudge the numbers or shade the truth about why they’re going,
to
care for their families while they’re gone, to tend to the soldiers
upon their return,
and to never ever go to war without enough
troops to win the war, secure the peace, and earn the respect of the
world.
(A
further example of a three part list; this time the first two parts
are paired statements, and the third is a three part list of its
own.)
Now
-- Now let me be clear. Let me be clear. We have real enemies in the
world.
These enemies must be found. They must be pursued. And
they must be defeated.
(Three
part list with repetition of these/they/they)
John
Kerry knows this. And just as Lieutenant Kerry
did not hesitate to risk his life to protect the men who served with
him in Vietnam, President Kerry will not hesitate one moment to use
our military might to keep America safe and secure.
John
Kerry believes in America. And he knows that it's not enough for just
some of us to prosper. For alongside our famous individualism,
there's another ingredient in the American saga, a belief that we are
all connected as one people.
If
there's a child on the south side of Chicago who can't read, that
matters to me, even if it's not my child.
If there's a senior citizen somewhere who can't pay for their prescription and having to choose between medicine and the rent, that makes my life poorer, even if it's not my grandparent.
If there's an Arab-American family being rounded up without benefit of an attorney or due process, that threatens my civil liberties.
(Repetition
of “If there… that…” – and yet another three part list)
It
is that fundamental belief -- it is that fundamental belief -- I am
my brother's keeper, I am my sisters' keeper -- that makes this
country work.
(This
is a spiritual concept tied in with religion. This resonates with
large swathes of the audience, religion also being a strong source
for quotes, structure and concepts in speech, particularly in the US.
Note on this occasion that the exposition of the principle came
before it was expressed as it is in scripture. If it had been the
other way around some of the wider audience may have been turned off
from the content because of its source. Some will argue against the
adoption of an argument because its source is questionable – it can
sometimes be better to express the content first and gain acceptance
of the principle and then support it with reference to a
source)
It's
what allows us to pursue our individual dreams, yet still come
together as a single American family:
(Contrast
at work)
"E
pluribus unum," out of many, one.
Now
even as we speak, there are those who are preparing to divide us, the
spin masters and negative ad peddlers who embrace the politics of
anything goes.
(Identifying
and addressing the opposition again)
Well,
I say to them tonight, there's not a liberal America and a
conservative America; there's the United States of America.
There's
not a black America and white America and Latino America and Asian
America; there's the United States of America.
(A
contrast of a negative followed by a positive, using repetition for
effect)
The
pundits, the pundits like to slice and dice our country into red
states and blue States: red states for Republicans, blue States for
Democrats. But I've got news for them, too. We worship an awesome God
in the blue states, and we don't like federal agents poking around
our libraries in the red states.
There
are patriots who opposed the war in Iraq, and there are patriots who
supported the war in Iraq.
We
are one people, all of us pledging allegiance to the stars and
stripes, all of us defending the United States of America.
(Note
the three part list of 2 contrasts (Blue/Red States) and a resolution
(one people, all of us…, all of us…)
In
the end, that’s what this election is about.
(And
there is a big pause to allow that to soak in)
Do
we participate in a politics of cynicism, or do we participate in a
politics of hope?
(A
nice contrast, with a faster cadence of words and ending with a
rhetorical question on which he invites an answer and gives you the
answer – little surprise that the crowd call out “HOPE!”)
John
Edwards calls on us to hope. I’m not talking about blind optimism
here
(Contrast
of hope with blind optimism – and note that the description of
blind optimism is of Republican “market-led” policies portrayed
in a negative light)
the
almost willful ignorance that thinks unemployment will go away if we
just don't think about it, or health care crisis will solve itself if
we just ignore it.
That's
not what I'm talking. I'm talking about something more substantial.
It's the hope of slaves sitting around a fire singing freedom songs;
the hope of immigrants setting out for distant shores; the hope of a
young naval lieutenant bravely patrolling the Mekong Delta; the hope
of a millworker's son who dares to defy the odds; the hope of a
skinny kid with a funny name who believes that America has a place
for him, too.
(Shorter,
quicker sentences which call back to the concept of hope in a broader
sense which appeals to the values of the audience and also calls back
to Obama’s early passage relating to his origins. The speech is
reaching a crescendo)
Hope
in the face of difficulty, hope in the face of uncertainty, the
audacity of hope:
(Further
short sentences with greater speed still)
In
the end, that is God's greatest gift to us, the bedrock of this
nation, a belief in things not seen, a belief that there are better
days ahead.
I believe that we can give our middle class relief and provide working families with a road to opportunity.
(Use
of metaphor of a road to create a more vivid picture)
I
believe we can provide jobs for the jobless, homes to the homeless,
and reclaim young people in cities across America from violence and
despair.
(A
three part list using alliteration –I.e. jobs to the jobless –
and a longer third clause, which is often the case)
I
believe that we have a righteous wind at our backs, and that as we
stand on the crossroads of history, we can make the right choices and
meet the challenges that face us.
(The “I
believe” section is again a three-part list of three part lists –
in the final section he calls back to the Bible and the words of
Martin Luther King. He tacks on the call “America!” and begins
the final winding up…)
America,
tonight, if you feel the same energy that I do, if you feel the same
urgency that I do, if you feel the same passion that I do, if you
feel the same hopefulness that I do, if we do what we must do
(Lots
of repetition here, delivered very quickly. Note that “feel” is a
strongly aspirated word and so is forceful and really pushes the
conclusion)
then
I have no doubt that all across the country, from Florida to Oregon,
from Washington to Maine, the people will rise up in November, and
John Kerry will be sworn in as president. And John Edwards will be
sworn in as vice president. And this country will reclaim it's
promise. And out of this long political darkness a brighter day will
come.
(The
repetition at the end adds to cadence and crescendo. The voice is
getting faster and more powerful, adding to the feeling of a rousing
crescendo)