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Introduction
An ideal family is unthinkable without love. Love is warmth, tenderness, joy. This is the main driving force behind the development of mankind, what we all exist for, what drives a person to reckless and heroic deeds. "I love, and that means I live ..." (V. Vysotsky)
More than once philosophers and sociologists have raised the question of the crisis of the institution of the family, and even predicted its disappearance in the future. The structure of the family as a small social group has changed: families have shrunk, many families have appeared that have formed after remarriage, single mothers. But marriage still has a high prestige; people do not want to live alone. The upbringing function of the family remains important, but a large role is assigned to the state and society: children are brought up in nurseries, kindergartens, schools, and the media also have a significant impact. The recreational function of the family is also important, i.e. mutual assistance, health maintenance, organization of rest and leisure. In the modern world with its high social rate, the family turns into an outlet where a person recovers his mental and physical strength. One of the main functions of the family, reproductive, does not change. function of procreation. Thus, nothing and no one can replace the functions of the family.
In our country, a lot of attention is paid to the family. "The family is under the protection of the state." Modern marriage and family relations require that the husband and wife have a high level of moral, ethical and psychological and pedagogical culture of marriage. It is important to help the younger generation in the successful development of personal qualities, the ability to understand their own qualities and the qualities of other people. That is why the utmost attention must be paid to preparing the younger generation for family life. Such training contains the following aspects: general social, ethical, legal, psychological, pedagogical, aesthetic, economic and economic.
Family is a very important, responsible business of a person. The family brings fullness of life, happiness, but each family is, first of all, a big business of national importance. And the goal of our society is the happiness of people, and one of its most important components is a healthy, strong family, because it is she who raises and educates the new generation. Consequently, the state should pay even more attention to caring for the family: increasing real incomes, social benefits and benefits, housing, etc.
So, family life requires from a person very different knowledge and skills, as well as skills that are formed in everyday life, starting from the parental family.
If the spouses love each other, feel deep sympathy, but cannot find a common language, they have great difficulty. Love brings you closer; but a family is at least two different people with their own attitudes to different aspects of life. In a family, clashes of opinions, ideas, interests, needs are inevitable. Full agreement is not always possible, even if desired. Some of the spouses with such an orientation would have to give up their aspirations, interests, etc. The better the relationship between spouses, the easier it is for them to raise their children. Parenting is, first of all, a lot of work to build a permanent and lasting psychological contact with a child at any age.
The family is a product of a social system; it changes with the change in this system. But despite this, divorce is an acute social problem.
Divorce is a strong emotional and mental shock that does not pass without a trace for the spouses. As a mass phenomenon, divorce plays a predominantly negative role both in the change in the birth rate and in the upbringing of children.
Divorce is assessed as a blessing only if it changes for the better the conditions for the formation of the child's personality, puts an end to the negative impact of marital conflicts on the child's psyche. A family can live if it performs poorly or does not perform at all any of its functions, except as a parent. A family dies if it stops doing what it was created for - raising children.
1 family values
As a unit of society, the family reflects its ideological, political and moral foundations. Ideological values occupy the most important place among the spiritual values of the family.
The family is the most important school of morals, here a person takes the first steps along the path of moral and political formation of the individual.
The active social orientation of the activities of the father and mother is reflected in the lifestyle of the family. Such parents grow up ideologically convinced children.
Traditions play a huge role in transferring the ideological experience of older generations to younger ones (the beginning and end of the school year for children; days of adulthood; obtaining a passport, etc.)
The ideological values of the family include family heirlooms - documents, memories, letters, awards. Each of them is a testimony about the life and deeds of loved ones, relatives. A careful attitude to relics is a source of moral strength, ideological conviction, spiritual continuity of generations.
2.The moral foundations of the family
Morality is formed in specific historical conditions and, accordingly, its very content changes depending on these conditions.
The Moral Code proclaims the leading moral principle by which the family lives: "Mutual respect in the family, care for the upbringing of children." But other principles also directly relate to the family - for example, isn't conscientious work necessary in a family? Or the principle “one for all, all for one” - does it only concern public life? And where, if not in a family, do we learn a humane attitude towards people, honesty and truthfulness, simplicity and modesty, intransigence to injustice?
Whatever moral principle we take, it becomes clear that it is learned from an early age in the family. The assimilation of moral norms occurs not from words, but in activities, in the actions of people.
Thus, the concept of “family debt” is broader than “marital debt”: it includes both parental duty and filial (daughter's) duty and the duty of a brother, sister, grandchildren, etc. Marital, family duty is an enduring moral value of people. And love is inconceivable without duty, responsibility for each other. Thus, children are the main moral value of the family, and parental duty is the responsibility to ensure that a worthy person, physically and spiritually healthy, grows up in the family. And the participation of children in the life of the family should take place on the basis of the rights of equal members of the family collective.
It is safe to say that a house in which there is no friendship, good relations between the elders and the younger, cannot be called happy. Therefore, we have the right to classify the friendship of parents and children as one of the moral values of the family.
Sincere, respectful relationships are established, as a rule, only in families where relationships are built on the type of cooperation. Beginners of such family relationships are distinguished by mutual tact, politeness, endurance, the ability to yield, get out of the conflict in time and endure adversity with dignity.
From the first days of its existence, a young family, relying on all the best inherited from their parents, should strive to create their own style of relations, their traditions, which would reflect the thoughts of young people to create a strong family, raise children, and preserve love. Mutual respect and understanding will become a tradition, and gallantry and high aesthetics will become a habit and remain in the family for life.
3.Status dispositions in the family
The following constituent elements of this criterion are proposed: authority, power, democratic relations, control, trust, etc. As can be seen from the above list of elements that make up this criterion, not only the value orientation of the family at the level of parent-child relations, but also the entire range of intra-family subordination is subject to analysis. This refers to the relationship between generations also at the level of older parents (grandfathers, grandmothers). This also includes the definition of the style of intermarital communication and the corporatism of relations between children in the family.
The degree and quality of manifestation of status dispositions in the family is measured using the following indicators:
1) the attitude of children towards manifestations of parental power;
2) the authority of parents in the assessments of children and the self-assessments of parents;
3) the trustfulness of the "parent-child" relationship - based on mutual evaluations;
4) the quality of parental control in relation to children (exactingness, categoricality, consistency);
5) cohesion and hierarchy of relations between children in the family;
6) distribution of household responsibilities;
7) the right to vote in the family;
8) the intensity and quality of communication with representatives of the third generation (older parents): communication and support.
4. The system of rules of conduct in the family
From the point of view of influence on the upbringing process, this value criterion performs a function in the family close to parental control, but in some cases its action goes beyond the "educator-educator" relationship and extends to all members of the family group. Thus, the rules of conduct, accepted by all family members without exception, determine the moral ideology of this particular family with minor children. The educational role of this criterion is manifested to the greatest extent in the process of forming moral values and rules of life in children, since the actions and actions of the child approved by the family are directly related to his assimilation of the moral norms of society.
The effectiveness of the child's assimilation of parental upbringing efforts to transfer the system of rules of behavior in the family is measured by the following indicators:
1) the obligation to comply with the established order in the family. Empirical indicators in this case may be: the obligatory return of family members home no later than a certain time, notification in case of an unforeseen delay; the immutable fulfillment by family members of their household duties, etc. The qualitative level of this indicator is measured by the rating scale method: “high commitment - rather high - when as - rather low - very low”;
2) tolerance to manifestations of deviant behavior both within the family and outside it. An indicator can be the level of intolerance in the family towards manifestations of alcoholism, drug addiction, hooliganism, violence, nationalism, terrorism, etc. A similar rating scale is used to measure the level of tolerance;
3) the sequence of educational actions on the part of the parents. The empirical indicators of this educational ideology of the family are as follows: the correspondence of words and deeds in the actions of parents; lack of double morality in the family; an adequate reaction of parents to the behavior of children, etc. The rating scale includes the following items: "high consistency - more often consistent - when how - rarely show consistency - usually not consistent";
4) presentation of requirements to children, taking into account their age characteristics and capabilities. Empirical indicators of this indicator are based on taking into account the factors of the physical and mental health of children, the level of their social and legal preparedness, etc. The rating scale provides for the following qualitative characteristics: "they always take into account - more often they take into account - when, as, according to circumstances - more often do not take into account - usually do not take into account".
5. Index of individualism of the child in the family
The criterion under consideration makes it possible to form, through a system of indicators, an idea of the child's self-assessments and self-identification as a family member, as well as the position of the parents in the issue of the formation of the independence of his judgments and actions in the worldview sphere. It is known that an individual can isolate himself only by feeling himself in the society of other individuals similar to him. It seems extremely important that the child has a free choice between the possibility of communication with other people and isolation for introspection and improvement, the development of his personal qualities. The child's individualism index gives an idea of the educational responsibility of the parents, who consciously form such qualities of the child's personality that allow him to achieve a sense of inner freedom and emancipation in the process of growing up and socialization. In working with this criterion, a number of complex indicators are used, which in the future can be presented in fractional form at the level of simple indicators:
1) the ratio of the principles of communication and isolation in the practice of parenting the individuality as a quality of the child;
2) the degree of independence of the child in the family allowed by the parents:
material (the child's own earnings through labor);
physical (gaining self-care skills, personal health care);
psychological (respect for the personality of the child, moderate criticism);
intellectual (respect for the child's opinion, creating conditions for the development of cognitive attitudes).
3) personal responsibility of the child, attitude towards rights and obligations;
4) personal autonomy of the child:
spatial (the presence of a room, bed, etc.);
emotional (the possibility of solitude, a sense of "social loneliness");
material (personal earnings as pocket money or as part of the family's budget);
5) self-identification of the child: orientation towards individuality or social system ("I" - as part of a family group);
6) the child's independence in decision-making, independence from the reference group (including family);
7) the child's assessment of his achievements as personal successes or as a collective effort of the family.
6. The family masculinity index
The term "masculinity" is used in the analysis of the educational methods of the family in a situation of a differentiated approach to children of the opposite sex. The same term defines the actions of family members to provide mutual support, protection and assistance, i.e. the level of corporation of the family group is determined.
At the same time, the index of masculinity reveals the frequency of use by spouses of forceful methods of solving intra-family problems. As you know, the effectiveness of family education presupposes, first of all, a clear example of the parents' own behavior in certain life circumstances. Practice shows that examples of violent behavior borrowed by children from the parental family become a natural continuation of the tradition of spousal and parental violence in the next generation.
It follows from the above that the indicators used to determine the masculinity index should make it possible to assess spouses-parents as subjects of both positive (support) and negative (violence) actions in the family. The following set of indicators is proposed:
- gender approach to the upbringing of children; differentiated parenting measures of mother and father for children of different sex;
- admissibility of cruel treatment of children (use of various forms of violent actions);
- the intensity of parental support provided to children (parent as a protector, family as a “refuge”);
- the manifestation of empathy and its addressees in the family and outside of it;
- the admissibility of interspousal violence.
Another methodological approach to the problem of classifying the value system of the family was tested in the framework of monitoring carried out by a group of researchers led by the author. The classification proposed below is based on the characteristics of the family, reflecting its life activity. The researchers were guided by the hypothesis of a higher efficiency of educational influence in families characterized by the stability of intrafamily relationships. On the other hand, family stability is due to the presence of a stable value system in it, which creates a situation of social balance and successful resistance to negative external factors. The educational values of the family are essentially a reflection of its value orientations. It is known that upbringing measures are implemented by parents not so much through didactic influence on the child, but through the demonstration of personal behavior, the orientation of interests and needs, as well as through the creation of a certain psychological climate in the family. Based on this basis, we define the family's educational strategy through its value system. Based on this theoretical premise, the following main elements were included in the classification of family values:
1) the values of marriage;
2) values associated with the democratization of family relations;
3) the values of parenting, raising children;
4) the values of family ties;
5) values associated with self-development;
6) the value of out-of-family communications;
7) the values of professional employment.
The ultimate goal of the study was to determine the mechanisms of continuity of the value system within the family: from parents to children. At the same time, adolescents' satisfaction with the presence and nature of manifestation of each value in his family was revealed. Satisfaction with a specific value was identified with the adolescent's readiness to accept it as an element of the ideological concept of his own future family.
As a result of the analysis of the empirical data obtained, the following dynamic series was built, characterizing the readiness of children to accept certain values of the parental family for their implementation in their own family (Table 1).
Table 1
Continuity of family values over the years
Ценности семьи |
Готовы принять, подростки (%) |
Не готовы принять, подростки (%) |
||||
1995 г. |
1997 г. |
1999 г. |
1995 г. |
1997 г. |
1999 г. |
|
Супружеские отношения |
16 |
13 |
22 |
38 |
26 |
35 |
Демократизация отношений в семье |
34 |
42 |
35 |
30 |
23 |
33 |
Родительство, воспитание детей |
51 |
44 |
44 |
16 |
21 |
24 |
Родственные связи |
67 |
73 |
69 |
7 |
3 |
11 |
Саморазвитие |
11 |
21 |
18 |
43 |
30 |
46 |
Внесемейные коммуникации |
46 |
62 |
46 |
16 |
7 |
20 |
Профессиональная занятость родителей |
72 |
64 |
50 |
15 |
7 |
20 |
Analyzing the data in the table. 1, it can be argued that, to the greatest extent, adolescents are ready to borrow from the parental system of values a model of family ties, first of all, in relations with their own older parents (70% of adolescents are ready to accept on average over the years of monitoring, 7% are not ready). The rating of such family values as professional interests and attitude to work is also quite high (on average, 62% are ready to follow this parental model of behavior, and 14% of adolescents reject it). The next family value that children accept as a model of behavior is out-of-family communication, and above all, relationships with friends (51% of adolescents accept, 14% reject). Slightly less than half of adolescents (46%) approve of the parenting family's upbringing system (compared with 20% who do not approve of their parents' upbringing methods). The number of adolescents who approve of the style of relations in the family (democratic) and reject the relations existing in the family is quite comparable (37% and 29%, respectively). Emotional relationships between parents do not enjoy the support of children: only 17% of adolescents assess them positively, while 33% have negative assessments. Finally, adolescents do not at all approve of the way parents spend their free time, the lack of opportunities for self-development in this area. Only 16% of children are ready to borrow the parental example, while 40% are unwilling.
Summing up the analysis of the importance of family values in the structure of parenting resources, a number of conclusions can be drawn.
First, the value system of the family has a powerful potential for an educational impact on the younger generation in terms of its personal development.