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R Yes, that’s right.

I Could you tell me how he did that?

R Yes. He looked around for a suitable husband. He asked friends and relatives if they knew anybody, and found out about their education, their background, and most importantly, the family’s background. He got all the information about them, you know.

I And did this take a long time?

R In my case, no, but it depends you see, erm … sometimes a father can see up to a hundred men before he chooses one. My elder sister … for my elder sister my father saw over a hundred men. You know, sometimes it can be difficult to decide. But for my brother he saw only one girl.

I And for you?

R He saw only two, one in the morning and one in the evening, and er … he chose the second one.

I My goodness! Tell me about that day.

R Yes … well, in the morning the first man came. He was very wealthy, but er … not very well educated, but he had a lot of money. And he was well-dressed, and he had very good manners.

I And the other one?

R He wasn’t terribly wealthy, but he was well-educated, and he came from a good background. His family owned a village, and were like princes. And all his relatives were suitable. He was twenty-two, and studying law.

I And your father chose him?

R Yes.

I Why, do you know?

R I think he thought that money wasn’t everything. He didn’t want the … you know, he didn’t want the family’s money. Education was more important. If he’s well-educated, he’ll earn it later. Actually, Shyam, that’s my husband’s name, didn’t want to get married. He wanted to wait, but you know his father persuaded him. You know when he came to my house to meet my father, he was very badly dressed because he wanted my father to refuse him, so he could say to his father ‘Look, they didn’t like me’. But luckily my father did like him and – erm – so he had to say ‘yes’.

I And did you meet him that day?

R Yes. First my family spoke to him, and then they called me in, and we talked for four, four or five minutes. My father decided immediately.

I And did you agree?

R Of course. My father had decided.

I But did you prefer the second?

R Um – well I wasn’t sure, actually. I left it to my father.

I And what happened next?

RWell, after a certain time, there was a special day when I went to see his family and he came to see my family. It was a sort of engagement party. But we – you know – we used to be on the phone every day, we’d see each other regularly, but never without a chaperon. We were married ten months later.

I And how long have you been married?

R Oh for twenty-two years now.

I And … it’s been a successful marriage? Have you been pleased with your father’s choice?

R Oh … yes, of course.

I Now you have two sons, don’t you, one twenty-one and one fifteen. Are you going to arrange their marriages?

R Yes, we are planning them now. We’ve er … we’ve been asking families in India for some time, and we’ve found some suitable ones.

I Do you think that the system of arranged marriages is a good one? I can see that you’ve had a good marriage, but what about other people? How common is this system of arranged marriages?

R Well, most marriages in India are still arranged in this way, and generally it is a system that works. Erm of course it depends a lot on the – you know – family choosing the right person, but one reason it works is that the couple enter the marriage not expecting too much, if you see what I mean. Actually – actually, here are many more divorces between couples who thought that they were marrying for l love and who then find that it isn’t there. Arranged marriages seem to last, and that is a good thing.

I And is sixteen the age when girls get married?

R Well, my mother was married at thirteen, but that is considered too young now and er … at one time it used to be twenty, but it was found that the girls were then to old to be integrated into their new families, so now it is usually when the girls are sixteen or seventeen, yeah.

b) Answer the following questions:

1. What is an arranged marriage? 2. How did Raj’s father find the two men? 3. Was it difficult to find a husband for Raj? 4. Describe the day that Raj met the two men. 5. Why did her father choose Shyam? 6. What happened between that day and their marriage?

c) In the following summary there are some factual mistakes and some gaps.

Correct the mistakes and complete the gaps:

Raj’s father arranged her marriage when she was still at school. He chose her husband by ____________. In Raj’s case, this didn’t take long, but sometimes ____________. Two men were introduced to Raj and her family, and together they decided ____________. The men were of similar background, but one of them ____________, and this was the one ____________. Raj didn’t agree with her father, but she had no choice. She has now been married for twenty-two years, and in fact ____________. Most marriages in India are still ____________, and the usual age ____________.

d) What do you think?

1. What was Raj’s attitude to her arranged marriage? Did she accept it or resent it? 2. How do you think she left on the day she met the two men? 3. Raj says that her husband’s family wasn’t wealthy, but they owned a village and were like princes. What does this tell us about Raj? 4. What else would you like to know, either about Raj’s marriage, or about arranged marriages? 5. What advantages does she see to arranged marriages? In groups, list other advantages and disadvantages.

Ex. 11.A) Read the text about different types of families and think of advantages

and disadvantages of each type:

nuclear [njukli] family – нуклеарная семья, состоящая из родителей и их детей.

extended family – расширенная семья, куда кроме родителей и детей входят ближайшие родственники.

Nuclear Family, Extended Family

In the Far, Middle and Near East and in parts of Africa, South America and Europe, the first thing most Western people notice is the respect everyone has for the old. Older men and women live with their married children and are important members of the family. They look after the children, help with the cooking, give advice and often rule family life. Living in an extended family has advantages for everyone. A small child, for example, knows many people from the very beginning, not just his mother and father. When his mother goes out, it doesn’t matter. He’ll stay with someone who loves him – an aunt or sister or grandmother.

For a young mother and father there are also advantages. They can go out to work and grandmother will look after the house and the children.

This is especially important in farming communities, where both men and women work in the fields.

And the older woman, for example, has something important to do. She sees her children and grandchildren grow up. She is needed and loved. The nuclear family is the product of the West. The typical family consists of mother, father and two children. If the mother goes out to work, she must leave them with a stranger – someone who looks after them as a job, for money. If there is a divorce or separation the child’s life will change completely.

As for the old, too many older people live alone – in special flats or homes. They hardly ever see their children and grandchildren. They have nothing important to do. They are often poor and lonely. In the winter many old people die of cold or from falls in the house – because there is no one to look after them. Nobody cares.

In the USA many old people go to Florida when they retire and live in large parks. Often these parks are for old people only. Neither children nor pets can live there.

b) Ask and answer questions on the text.

c) Speak on nuclear and extended families.

Relative Values

Two points of view on a family relationship

Ex. 12.a) Read the articles in which members of the same family, James

Mitford, an Actor, and his daughter Amy, describe their relationship.

Divide into 2 groups.

Group A. Read James Mitford’s description of their relationship.

Group B. Read Amy Mitford’s description of their relationship.

Questions to each group. How much of a generation gap

(расхождение, непонимание между поколениями) is there between

James and Amy Mitford? Does he (she) have realistic view of the

relationship? Why?

My Daughter

James Mitford: My wife and I only had the one child. It might have been nice to have a son, but we didn’t plan a family, we just had Amy.

I see her as my best friend. I think she’d always come to me first if she had a problem. We have the same sense of humour, and share interests. I don’t mind animals, but she’s completely obsessed with them, and she has always had dogs, cats, horses, and goldfish in her life.

We were closest when she was about four, which I think is a lovely age for a child. They know the parents best, and don’t have the outside contacts. She must have grown up suddenly when she went to school, because I remember her growing away from her family slightly. Any father who has a teenager daughter comes across an extraordinary collection of people, and there seemed to be an endless stream of strange young men coming through our house. By the time I’d learned their names they’d gone away and I had to start learning a new lot. I remember I told her off once in front of her friends and she didn’t talk to me for days afterwards.

I wanted more than anything else for her to be happy in what she was doing, and I was prepared to pull strings to help her on her way. She went to a good school, but that didn’t work out. She must have upset somebody. When she left she decided she wanted to become an actress so I got her into drama school. It wasn’t to her liking so she joined a theatre group and began doings bits and pieces in films. She was doing well, but then gave it up. She probably found it boring. Then designer and he became her husband. And that’s really the story of her life. She must be happy with him – they’re always together.

We have the same tastes in books and music, but it takes me a while to get used to new pop songs. I used to take her to see the opera, which is my big passion, but I don’t think she likes it very much, she doesn’t come with me any more.

I don’t think she’s a big television watcher. She knows when I’m on, and she might watch, but I don’t know. It’s not the kind of thing she tells me.

We’re very grateful for Amy. She’s a good daughter as daughters go. We’re looking forward to being grandparents. I’m sure she’ll have a son.